But back to the book I finished. First, I have to mention TWO books I couldn’t finish reading. Seriously y’all, it takes a lot for me not to finish a book. Usually, even it’s bad, I’ll suffer through to the end. But I could NOT take the main character in Lulu in Marrakech and as to The Condition, well, I say “garbage in, garbage out” to that one.
I, however, loved Elizabeth Flock’s book Sleepwalking in Daylight. I had been captivated by Me & Emma, so I thought I would give this one a go. And I was not disappointed! Even though I do NOT have a completely loveless marriage and a teenage daughter who is spinning out of control, I can relate to the principle of the story. The book bounces narratives back and forth between mom Samantha and daughter Cammy. Their anticlimactic lives come to a tragic and climatic ending that wakes them up from themselves.
“Do you ever think this life is not exactly what you had planned?…Do you ever crave something, anything, that could wake you up?”
While I don’t live the life that Samantha lives, (not by a long shot!)I do relate to “sleepwalking in daylight”. As a stay at home mom, my days are pretty much the same; feeding , cleaning, laundry, homework, reading the same books, playing the same games, etc. etc. and etc. Everyday is the same as the day before. Unless, I have something really exciting to do, like the grocery store. Woo hoo. (ok, to be fair I actually DO enjoy going to the grocery store) Then I get the “mommy guilt” when I become dissatisfied in this life I’ve chosen. While I wouldn’t trade my days as a stay at home mom for ANY material gains I could have had from working a job, sometimes, just sometimes, I look around and think how did I get here? Here in this rut that is. Those are the days I wish my husband and I could just pack everybody up and move to Australia. Oh wait, don’t they have a lot of snakes? Hmmm, how about to Ireland then. I think to myself that I just want something exciting to happen, for new surroundings, new experiences.
Hmm, on second thought, no, not anything. Not really. Flock tells a story where a family waits for something, anything to wake them up. This isn’t a “feel good” kind of story. I had no sympathy for the parents and I refuse to allow my children to become teenagers now. You don’t close this book and smile, that’s for sure. So while I would love an occasional shake up, I don’t want just anything.
I don’t want to sleepwalk through my life, through the precious life of my family. When those difficult days hit, I think it’s a matter of internal perspective. God has called me to be a mom to these precious children and right now that does involve a lot of sameness. The challenge is to be content, to find joy, to be happy with the everyday. In this season of my life, the excitement will just have to be finding crayons melting in the toaster oven.
And that’s just fine with me.